It's Coco's fault.

I think I figured out why most of my neighbors aren't social with me.

I think it's my dog. Our neighborhood is filled w/ folks who have very large dogs...and jumpable fences. It's a good morning when I find a big steaming pile of dog doo in my front yard. Good because it actually made it to the grass instead of my sidewalk. Anway, these neighborhood dogs have "playdates." Seriously. One neighbor walks over to the other neighbor's yard and lets her dog in their fence so the dogs can "play".

Problem being, the dogs now have a partner in crime. They easily jump the fence and decide to come to my yard because...I have no fence (I prefer open rolling grass w/ no barriers. I'm open like that).

My dog goes out every few hours, steps only inches onto the grass, tinkles & comes back to the door. She doesn't wander, she doesn't raise a ruckus. Sweet, sweet Coco.

But, every once in awhile she goes out and there's another dog in our yard. They mistake her for a large chocolate bon-bon or a piece of tender steak and pounce. The neighbor's boxer pins her to the ground as she urinates all over his face (his face is as big as her whole body) out of fear. I try to break them up only to get growled at by the neighbor's polka dot dog.

The polka dot dog has been named such, well because I have girls and the dog has spots. Put those together you get a polka dot dog. This dog has chased my kid off of the bus, come in my back screen door while I'm cooking dinner to "help" me taste test, and, and, AND, takin' a dump on the walkway to my front door.

No, I haven't told the neighbor. She no longer likes me (I won't babysit her 3 kids often enough) (and possibly because I use paranthesis too often) and makes sure I know it by pointing out the faults in my yardwork, the chalk drawings on my sidewalk and my party decorations that are visible from the street (I secretly thinks she wants to be invited).

So, like me (and my dog) or not...I'm here to stay. And neighbor, if you're reading this. Lighten up. I really am nice and if you can teach your dog to hold his poop AND not eat my dog, maybe, just maybe he & Coco can be friends.